I’ve been sitting here all evening with the intention of writing about something because, as I may have mentioned, I use writing as a way of venting, relaxing and even helping to unwind. I've also been sitting here all evening with my laptop open next to me, Word open and ready to go, patiently waiting for me to actually use it, whilst I’ve just been sat watching movies next to it. After finishing Tim Burton's “Sweeney Todd” (a cinematic masterpiece, I should add), I still have one of the songs in my head. Whilst humming along to the earworm, I tried to find something else to watch, but I have a real issue with trying to watch anything new. I’m just too picky. I’ll read the title and the description before heading to YouTube to watch the trailer and even when the movie looks pretty good, I still decide I’m instead just going to watch one of the many movies I’ve already seen a thousand times.
Whilst doing this, however, I’ve also realised something – I am really very good at procrastinating. I’ll have every intention of doing something, thinking it through and planning every step in my head, but trying to actually put it into practice is a very different story. I will find a way of doing literally anything but the task I set out to do. Thinking back, I do wonder just how much time I have wasted procrastinating. I know for a fact I’d have whole projects and ideas finished that even to this date I haven't finished. Things like my idea for a card game, which has just made it as far as being made into a small deck, and some of the artwork to go with it. I remember when I came up with the idea for my card game, a game about making the most creative insults, which came to me whilst I was in a busy high street one day. I’ve always said I wanted to make a card game, but after finally coming up with an idea for one, I’ve sat idle, thinking about it many times, but never actually put any real work into it. I do plan to have the base version of it available by Christmas, though, but we will see.
It’s not just card games either; I have memories of coming up with ideas and creating massive plans for them, things that might have actually made me a living, but no, instead I spent the time I should have been working on the project thinking and watching random YouTube videos. As I’m writing this, I am realising just how much time I have, in fact, wasted. It’s one of those cases: the more you think about something, the more you remember. It’s like anytime you want to go to sleep, but instead you lie there in the dark and remember all those awkward moments and stupid decisions from way in the past that you thought you’d hoped you'd forgotten about.
I would sit here and say I’m going to try and procrastinate less and actually get on with everything, like writing more and continuing to pursue my motoring-related articles and a dozen other project ideas I currently have, but no doubt I’ll end up getting sidetracked while trying to do that. It'd already taken me nearly three years to write A Warped Perspective, after all. I call it procrastinating, but I know it could also be ADHD, but this is something that at the time of writing this I'm now on year three of waiting for a diagnosis for. I know the waiting lists are long, but I'm amazed at just how long. I've been told I could pay to get a diagnosis sooner, but I don't need to pay anyone to know that I am a little bit weird, as I worked that bit out on my own years ago.