Here’s a fun two-parter, written on the day my car has its dreaded MOT.
As humanity evolved, life became increasingly complicated. Technology marched forward at an astonishing pace, industries appeared that our ancestors couldn't have imagined, and somewhere along the way, we invented the internet. Fast forward to today, and most of us carry a rectangle in our pockets that can control our bank accounts, order our shopping, book our holidays, tell us we've walked 437 fewer steps than yesterday and, if we're particularly unlucky, remind us of a work email at eleven o'clock on a Sunday evening. The “phone” part of our mobile phone is just an extra feature nowadays.
The human brain has never had to process quite so much information, quite so often. We're surrounded by screens, notifications, deadlines, passwords, subscriptions, appointments and endless numbers demanding our attention. Every day feels like spinning a dozen plates. Our world has become increasingly high-pitched, which means finding five minutes of peace is becoming surprisingly difficult.
Look at the humble motorcar. Cars have evolved enormously over the last century. They're safer, cleaner, more reliable and packed with more technology than KITT from Knight Rider. Naturally, the rules surrounding them have evolved too. One of the biggest is the annual MOT.
Here in the UK, every year our cars are hauled into a garage and inspected and scrutinised to make sure they aren't about to fall apart in the middle lane of the M4 like something from an old slapstick comedy. It's a good thing, but it is also unbelievably stressful.
The MOT joins an ever-growing queue of things modern-day people now have to remember. Tax returns. Insurance renewals. Mortgage payments. Dentist appointments. Keeping on top of the countless streaming services or passwords for websites you haven't visited since 2019. Together, they create a constant background hum that, even whilst trying your hardest to ignore, is very difficult to not think about. So, when you’ve got all this going with the added possibility of having your wallet drained whilst having to repair all the parts of the car you didn’t even know it had, the stress levels skyrocket.
I know this because as I’m sat writing this, I’m waiting for the clock to tick its way around to this afternoon, when my car is due in once again to have its MOT. Now I’m a person who will happily lose a few hours of my day to save on repair costs and replace a car part myself, swearing with my head buried into the wheel arch, slowly losing vision as I strain to undo a stubborn bolt whilst my legs go numb. But with the never-ending list of things that need doing, projects, working and being a dad, right now I really don’t need the extra work. I do try and keep on top of repairs, though. I do regular servicing and checks, but I will just have to sit with my fingers crossed.
Right then. Time to hand over the keys. I'll report back once the verdict is in.
A few hours later
Well, darn it. The four dreaded letters that now mean I’m going to end up kneeling down at the side of the car in the burning sunshine swearing like a drunken sailor because the one bolt that holds the whole thing together won’t come loose. Yes, it failed. But only on a track rod end, which, for those who don’t know how a car works, is the bit that connects the steering bit to the wheel hub bit, so it's not important at all….
That said, the fact it only failed on one item is a relief. It could have been far worse. But it's still another thing on the ever-growing list. Another job to fit in. Another expense to think about. Another reminder that adulthood is basically just a never-ending game of whack-a-mole that, whenever you solve one problem, another one pops up carrying an invoice.
Until it's repaired and passes its retest, it'll sit at the back of my mind, nagging away every time I look out of the window. The heat certainly isn't helping either. I just know by the time I'm finished, I'm going to look like I've just run the Badwater Ultramarathon in California's Death Valley whilst wearing snowboarding gear. Maybe I'll just drag a paddling pool alongside the car, fill it with cold water and repair the track rod end whilst keeping cool.